NGO for Men: Why suicide Increases, when boy became Men?

In a press release issued by coalition of various NGOs , like Save Family Foundation ,  working for abused and distressed men of India ask: 

Why suicide Increase, when a boy became men after 18 years of age?

 

Boy became Men-after 18yrs Suicide Increase at Rapid Speed.

Up to 18 years the suicide of boy vs girl are more or less same. But one must wonder what get changed after 18 years the men suicide keeps increasing?

As the age increases, a boy getting to be termed as Men and they are becoming victim of all gender biased law as well by default along with there is no support system available, when they face any type of Domestic abuse like verbal, emotional, sexual or economical abuse. There is no protection of men in present Domestic Violence act. With the increasing ages Men are getting more victims of blackmailing, extortion and domestic abuses which witness clearly from the suicide data.

This Independence Day, group of 50 Ngo’s and 180 activists across nation will assemble in Mumbai to brainstorm advocacy of gender neutral laws in their 7th National Meet.

The seventh national confluence has been earmarked to evolve with strategy of protecting vulnerable men from laws facing undue harassment due to heavily loaded legal provisions against men. It’s ironical that “India” presumed to be a patriarchal society has marginalized men like never before.   Apart from gender neutral laws the group will also discuss the concerning issue of suicide of men & deteriorating health status and lack of medical facilities for men & boys. 

 

Husband Suicide vs Wives is 2.6 Times More

Suicides is one avenue which exhibits the social trauma and mental status of a men NCRB 2014 illustrates the vulnerable situation men are facing in present scenario. 

Every 5.9 min a men is committing suicide in India with family disputes as single largest reason of male suicide. As per the latest statistics from NCRB, we wish to highlight following:

Ø  As against last year ratio of 2.17 Husband Suicide per Wife Suicide in India, in 2014, the ratio has increased to 2.21 Husband Suicide per Wife Suicide. Similarly, Male Suicide to Female Suicide ratio has increased from 2.05 last year to 2.10 in 2014. This means that with the Anti-Men environment in India, more Men and Husbands are forced to commit suicide. India, indeed, is becoming unsafe for men.

 Ø  In India, 1 male commits suicide every 5.9 minutes in 2014. While Women suicide is 1 in every 12.36 minutes. Unfortunately, still Government is not showing any intent to bring equality for Men in Law. In 2014, India witnessed Male Suicide (89129), Husband Suicide (59744), Female Suicide (42521) while least was Wife Suicide (27064).

 Ø  Another startling fact is that suicide of women in age-group 30-60 years is 39% of total women suicide while the same for men is 16% Higher & is 55%. This clearly shows that the age group of 30-60 years is 16% more vulnerable for men as compared to women. It is pertinent to mention here that this is the age group which is contributing maximum to GDP of India and hence government’s loss of focus to men of this age groups specifically will have a direct effect on the GDP of the country.

 Ø  Another clear indicator of how growing to be an Adult male in India is crime is showing in the NCRB 2014 data. Till the age of 18 years, for every 100 suicides, boys and girls have almost equal proportions. The moment a boy becomes a man, i.e. of every 100 suicides of adults in India, 2/3^rd of the suicides are by Male. This is clearly arriving to the fact that since POCSO is Gender Neutral (and other laws are too), the suicide ratio is almost same irrespective of Gender. The moment laws become biased, male suicide sky-rockets by another 25%-28%. Means, women are safer in Husband’s house whereas Men are unsafe once they become adult.

 Ø  It is ironical that Ministry of Women and Child Development, in their own report in 2007 had said that of every 100 children sexually abused, 53 are boys but still the Rape laws of India or other laws do not cover men as victims because of which we see a huge increase of Suicide of Male gender the moment they become adult. The suicides are because of either false rape case threats or because of them being victims of Rape by women and no law covers them.

 Ø  Cannot be directly established but indeed in 2013-2014, Men in India did see some relief with launch of SIF One (National helpline for Men – 8882498498) and also the directions from Hon’ble Supreme Court in ‘Arnesh Kumar vs State of Bihar’ gave a huge hope to Husbands / Married men and that’s where we are pleased to see their suicide rate coming down.

 Ø  As per the Accidental deaths (by unnatural causes) data of NCRB 2014, 80% of victims are Men but still the Government is no waking up to make workplace, society, public areas, homes safer for men.

 Ø  More than 85% of Traffic Deaths and over 81% of Traffic injuries victims are Men and still the Government is ignoring men completely in their policies and their budgets.

 Single largest reason as revealed by NCRB for suicides were found to be family disputes (21.7%).

Cause of Suicide

The Confluence of activist will discuss the expansion of SIF one helpline to various other states.

Presently the helpline is operational in 10 States of the country namely MP-CG, UP, Delhi, Karnataka, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, West Bengal. The Non sponsored non funded helpline is a Single helpline service run by by self supported, self volunteers 24X7 to counsel and guide men in distress.

The grim scenario of men facing atrocities is a black spot as India when it is assumed to be a male dominated society where men even lack basic amenities as gender neutral laws and distress centers.

Single largest reason as revealed by NCRB~ for committing suicide 21.7 % are family disputes. 18623 male & 9977 females committed suicides because of family problems. Followed by illness 18.0% marriage related issues rank third with 5.1% love affairs 3.2% drug addiction 2.8%. The unsympathizing attitude of government & investigating authorities is exhibited from the fact that 12.4% of suicides have causes unknown. 

Men are completely on a barren land in case of any disputes with any female in family, work place or at Social Network. It’s the Men have to pay heavy price even without any fault at their end.

65 crore male population does not have a law to protect themselves in case they face cruelty or any form of Domestic abuse. Studies report that male child Sexual abuse is 15% more than female child yet the laws remain biased to protect girl child alone. Amendment in various laws to protect women fails to protect men under similar scenario of molestation & sexual abuse. The forum will formalize a strategic group to create legal sensitization and seek constitutional amendments and urge lawmaking authorities to enroll men in the frame work of laws to protect interest of men.

Absence of a dedicated “Men Welfare ministry” explains gender Apartheid and men even facing poor health condition and medical aid also. Out of Illness 16078 men & 7663 women committed suicide. Aids forced 184 men & 48 women to suicide.

Men are more also prone to various forms of cancer, 407 men & 175 women chose to death.

Mental illness also engulfed 4761 men & 2341 women. Other prolonged illness sucked 10425 men & 4992 women to death.

Paralysis cased male suicide 3 times that of women. 407 men & 175 men committed suicide because of paralysis.

Where men are prone to illness & health hazards Indian men don’t receive any respite in the so called male dominated society. 

“The Forum in this national confluence will evolve with a strategy to create pressure groups to sensitize parliamentarians to evolve with a time line & concrete plan to address male specific heath issues” , Said by one of activist from Mumbai.

Men overburdened with the social expectation of providing & protecting their families and society face larger social trauma.

Bankruptcy took away 2098 men vis a vis 210 women almost 10 times that of women showing men the sole breadwinner could not take the trauma. Poverty adhered 1419 men & 280 women, unemployment 1965 & 242 women.

Thus strengthening the fact that men are more vulnerable to social stigma and unable to meet the expectation of family & society succumbed to death. 

Four-fold hike in no. of Indians ending lives: Study

  

National Confluence aimed:

·         To evolve a consensus from nationwide volunteers to evolve with strategic initiatives to empathize with the deteriorating situation of men in legal front, heath care & Social Status.

·         To address men in distress through various channels, campaign, create pressure groups and establish the respect for men.

·         To avoid the inevitable & stand by all Men to address their pain n support them for better living.

·         To restore the dignity of men & give them equality in true sense by respecting Indian Constitution article 21 – right to Live and Liberty to all.

#NCRB Suicide Data:2020
Men: 108532 vs Women: 44498 (1.43X)
Husband : 73093 vs Wives: 28085 (2.6X)
Once Boy became Men: after 18Yrs #Suicide increasing in Rocket Speed-Still No action by Lawmakers.
Why not make #304B #DVAct #498A #354 #375 gender Neutral?https://t.co/UdVgdeNlpt pic.twitter.com/F1lx94ZChP

— SwarupSarkar (@swarup1972) October 28, 2021

Be happy without her or Suicide due to her abuse ?

As per NCRB reports till 2013, every year on or average more than 64000+ married men ending their life, but in 2014 we witness about 10% reduction i.e. 59700+, clear effect of  SIF-One multi city, self supported, self volunteered-  Single Number helpline for distressed/abused men launched in 2013.

 But still the married men suicide continue to be double than married women suicide in India.

The same is neither a concern for government nor any Media house. Even National family health Survey committee also had not made any effort till today to find or to understand the problem of such males in India.

Many guys of today’s SIF volunteers network might had been also added their name in that list of NCRB, if they had not gone through with Time to time SIF weekly meetings, Work shop, Get-together, National Meets , Event like Protest, Press conference, Meeting your MP, organized by SIF Network NGO’s in multiple city all over India and world.

Hopefor Men is one of such training module designed by SIF volunteers from the various success and failure story of distressed / abused men of India. Such work shop brings some smile to many hopeless men of India, who find a reason to live a life than end their life as harassed Husband.

 

A simple formula, which I got in one of my corporate training program perfectly fit for all, not only in your family problem, even you can use for stress free professional life also.

 

•      STRESS = UNCERTAINTY * IMPORTANCE

 

•      MAKE ONE OF THEM ZERO, YOUR STRESS WILL BE ZERO.
•      Try to reduce any of the two; your stress will get reduced by default.
•      The more you will try to increase Uncertainty or Importance; your stress will keep increasing.

There can be some situation where neither you are in a position to reduce uncertainty or importance, use ANY OF 3A:

• ACCEPT

• ACTION PLAN

•   AVOID

Number of time we witness distressed call in our helpline, my wife is staying with me and threatening me for false cases, what should I do?

•          Must use technology; start recording (Video/Audio) all her threats and Blackmailing, as your verbal allegation no one going believe. 

•          Try if you can stay alone with your wife; away from your parents/family, it’s a tuff call, but present Domestic Violence act may give more trouble to your parents. 

•          Keep a track of all the expenses that you are doing on her, because 99% she will make allegations, you have not provided even food to her.

•          Keep all important documents/valuables away from her, have witness many cases husband’s passport, PAN, educational documents had been destroyed.

•          Keep a proof of her educational Qualifications, Job, Salary etc, as 90% cases we had observed husband running pillar to post even to gather a simple wife about PAN numbers , where as wives have already collected not only husband even his forefather all assets details .

•          Keep relatives / neighbours informed, don’t try to hide your problem. First accept you are a Victim of Domestic abuse, and then only you will able to try to find solution. The more you will be in denial mode, more pain and suffering you going to face.

At the time she is leaving:

•          Inform the police as soon as she leaves the house if possible just make a call 100 numbers and it get recorded. 99.9% cases the allegations are it is husband throw her in the mid night, where as fact is she left your home in Open day light with her all belongings.

•          Take a receipt of the things that she is carrying with her; get it signed by witnesses and if she refuses call 100 numbers and get recorded the same.

•          Try to keep the kids with you (if possible).

Most important, time to start join SIF network to update your own knowledge, reading various Supreme Court Judgements, success and failure story of your fellow male victims of domestic abuse.

Start visiting police station, courts when you have free time and be comfortable in advance than get shocked when you have to visit those places one day.

The dangerous situation and most distressed panicked call we get like, wife is NOT staying with me but threatening me for false cases, what should I do?

•         Use of technology and patience is key, start recording all phone calls with her (family) if they call you or threat you. Avoid to make call back to any miss calls, it can be trap to make evidence you call them and given threat.

•         Keep a record of your presence (especially on weekends/holidays), as 90% cases the allegations are you went their home, beat them, threat them and demanded dowry, to make a prima face evidence to file criminal case in their own Police station.

•          Do not close channels of communications, if the conversions are normal and healthy. 

•          Keep a tab on FIR or Complaint in her police station via network. 

•         It is better to visit police station and get comfortable with atmosphere, when there is no complaint than get panicked in the name of visit police station when real complaint done.

•          No Anticipatory Bail in UP, Uttaranchal, so prepare to get arrest stay form HC.

•          Avoid showing that without her you can’t live and dying every day. If she can live a life without you, why can’t you?

•          Never use any provocative words from your sides. It is like putting ghee in fire.

•          Minimum 2 to 3 years do not file any RCR or Divorce from your side.

•          Prepare yourself and start collecting evidence by which you can file any criminal cases on them, depends on your evidence and witness you collect.

•          Make ready Criminal Lawyers to get AB/Bail if any FIR is filed.

•          Accept your life is not like any of your other friend who is still under marital slavery.

In every family disputes it’s 90% mental battle and only 10% legal battle.  

But maximum time people will advice you find solution via legal route, like file divorce or file RCR which lead to high Stress /Tension in your life as in legal battle , your uncertainty will get increased by multi fold , as we term our Judges “My Lord”.

Husband Suicide : Unable to bear abuse by Wife

You can hire highly paid advocates but that’s’ give only your 10% battle remedy. Will help you to prepare a perceived Strong allegations (without any evidence or witness) as Cut, copy paste from others petition and in court, Judge understand in 2 seconds the entire cut/copy/paste lie. Your one lie will nullify her 10 lie as our Judges are also in Misandric mindset, women never lie or women never cheat.

 So, neither your problem gets solved nor you able to cope up the mental battle. You start changing advocates, get distressed and one day make statements: “I had been harassed more by advocates than my wife.”

So, we advice, never seek or beg or run behind Divorce, seek Justice. Divorce should be part of Justice, which should come by default as your right, not by parrying in front of Lord.

Will love to here , what option you will prefer , Join SIF Network to be happy or end your life .

When Men became Victim of Domestic Violence

#HugYourDad & take Vow to Stop Fatherless Child society in India on #FathersDay.

Vicks VapoRub #HugYourDad - YouTube

▶ 1:19

“This father’s day, I am expressing my love towards my dad by participating in the #HugYourDad activity at BlogAdda in association with Vicks.”

 

Only a Father can put his life at risk knowingly or unknowingly for his Child. Many of you would have heard this popular story: 

Once a fatherand his 8 years old daughter was to cross a river. There was only one small damaged bamboo bridge to cross the river. The chances of bridge breaking down were very high if one was to walk through the bridge.

The father asked his daughter to hold his hand tightly, so that she would not fall down.

But the daughter said, “NO”, you hold my hand instead of me holding your hand.

The father was surprised and asked his daughter the reason?

The daughter replied, “I may leave your hand by mistake, but I know you will never leave my hand in any condition”.

That is the trust and confidence a Father gives to his Child.

Recently I witnessed an Advertisement of Gillette Role Model camping, where a 9 year old boy named Rudra, fights with his friend Kush, as Kush was hitting a sixer on every ball Rudra bowled to him. Rudra started using abusive words and they both end up fighting.

When his father questions him, from where he had learned such abusive words, he innocently replied “On TV bowlers use such words for Batsmen”.  

His father then tells him to go and apologise to his friend and congratulate his friends for his success.  

The boy asks his father “Why to congratulate?”

The father asks back, “Who hit the Six?”

The boy replies, “Kush”.

Father asks again “So, should Kush not be congratulated?”

Rudra understands what his father was trying to teach him. He rushes to Kush and apologises and congratulates him. His father later approaches Rudra and tells him that he will teach Rudra new bowling technique, so that he can bowl Kush out in the first ball the next time.

Father is the first teacher any child witnesses from their childhood. 

These all are happy stories that we all remember. But there are hidden truths in Indian society and courts of LAW, where more than 95% fathers are denied the custody of a child although comparatively they are more capable of taking care of their child’s welfare. Their paternal emotions for their own children get smashed day after day in the courtrooms, but Judges continue to use fathers as FREE ATM machines.

With time more and more anti-men, anti-father laws like 498A, DV, CRPC125, adultery laws etc, family harmony is being destroyed and the couple are fighting in court across 6 to 8 cases against each other. Such fathers and husband are treated as guilty till proven innocent.

The verbal statements of a wife are considered as gospel truth, irrespective of the audio/video evidence husbands and fathers provide, irrespective of their heart wrenching distress that is evident to all present in the courtrooms. Everyone, but the judges can see that he is not at fault, and label him a criminal, a worthless, incapable father unless higher courts state otherwise.

On average it takes between 5 to 7 years to prove a man his innocence. Historically and statistically, in more than 90% cases courts eventually find Husbands and fathers not at fault. However by this time he has lost 5 to 7 years of his golden years that he would have lived and shared with his loved child. No court, no society, no sympathy, nobody, not even Almighty God can give back those precious years to a husband, a father. While a father lives in pain during these years, a child misses out on all the love, affection, care, guidance that the child would have received from his father.

The most unbearable pain such fathers get is the pain of being deprived to meet and share moments with their own child or children. Many a times, when such pain crosses a certain threshold, fathers see no choice but to end their lives to stop living with such unbearable pain. In SIF, we have witnessed numerous cases where men have ended their lives silently, but at the same time being apologetic to their children for not having suffered ongoing pain. On various video sharing websites like Youtube, one can find many videos like that of Syed Makhdoom who have left final messages for their children and the world.

As a SIF moderator, in last 10 years, I have seen more than 7000+ cases, where a husband has been treated just like a free ATM machine. To get a basic visiting right for his child, court keeps giving dates after date. After many years of a long painful fight against the rotten, corrupt system, when he does eventually get a legal right, the wife does not obey the court order and poisons the child’s mind against his own father, labelling him as the worst person in the world; as ifDawood Ibrahim would be a better person than his own father.  

Anish Aggarwal, a 38 years old bright Software engineer, has been paying Rs 6000 per month for the past 2 years as maintenance to his child; however he continues to wait to meet his child. He continues to endure this pain in hope. Hope that one day he will be able to meet his child, give him a hug and shower his blessings upon the child. His child and he continue to miss those precious moments that they both deserve and need as humans.

Mr. ShymalVikram, 39 years old, HR manager in a MNC, managed to see his child in the 8^th year after paying Rs 8000 per month for 7 years. He was over the moon when he met his child. However who will return those precious 7 years of love and affection that he wanted to give and his child had right to receive? 

Mr. KunalMitra, had child visiting order in hand for 3 year, but failed to meet his child. When he reached in front of his wife’s home to meet his child, she filed more cases like Domestic violence to threaten him. Why has society given such ludicrous powers to wives that they continue to misuse and destroy a father and his love for his child?

Mr. Ashish Sarkar, 38 years old works in a media house. For the last 2 years he has been fighting in a court to find out if his child is a son or a daughter, let alone see the child. His wife on the other hand seeks maintenance for the child! Where is humanity heading, where is our Indian society moving towards with so much greed and selfishness?  

Mr. Ashish Sarkar, had a judgment, where the judge clearly mentioned in maintenance cases order, that it is totally unfair on part of wife to hide the child’s sex. Unfortunately due to rampant gender bias and blindness towards men and fathers, he cant do anything against such injustice even in a court. Why do we have a judicial system that is so diseased and disabled? 

Similar to such real life situations, such injustice to Indian fathers is rampant. India is heading speedily towards a fatherless society.  

In a recent letter, a Delhi based NGO Save Family Foundation questioned WCD (Women and child Ministry) on Father’s Day - Can a Child get Divorced?( Link )

They also cited statistics on how a Fatherless society is dangerous:

As we know fathers play a vital role in the development of a child. In United States of America, reported statistics inform us that Children from fatherless homes are:

1. 5 times more likely to commit suicide

2. 32 times more likely to run away from home.

3. 20 times more likely to have behavioural disorders

4. 9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

5. 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)

In India, if you were to go through the crime data on Children and Adolescents, you will notice that more than 70 percent are fatherless children while more than 90 percent of call girls under prostitution net, confirm that they don’t have a father.

But will our LAW makers, WCD and Court Judges ever understand this and should they continue to use fathers as Free ATM machine only? If only money were able to provide a good welfare fora child, then all children from rich homes would have good moral characters and would never have any criminal records.

A child needs a teacher, a trusting relationship, a guiding friend, a loving father and a figure who has a God-like nature for blessings. Only a father can provide these as a single entity on this planet. These cannot be bought by money and no other human can give these to a child the way a Father does.

Now a days we witness Supreme Court, LAW makers and radical feminist groups advocating mediation/counselling from women’s cells all across the country. However these women cells have become cells of legal extortion and blackmailing cells for desperate, distressed fathers.

In my opinion as an advocate for Family harmony and child benefit, I suggest that children should have access to both parents irrespective of whether couple are able to reunite or separate amicably. That should be a standard process if we are to keep the child’s welfare at the forefront. Clearly a child cannot express such common-sense desire in women’s cell or Police stations or the NGO heads who are too often blinded in the name of women empowerment.

Please don’t kill the emotion of a Father for his child, an emotion that cannot be created or duplicated by force, law or threats. Biased practices in the courtrooms and society also kill the emotions of a child that are created by nature. Such emotional bonds are needed for a normal development of a child physically, emotionally, morally, spiritually and socially.

Very sadly, many lawyers, judges and others with blinded vision feel proud when a wife gets complete child custody or receives a big fat amount of money in the name of child care. Commonly we hear “A child has been united by his mother”. Nobody says “A child has been separated from his Father”. Such children become and remain fatherless forever.

As responsible adults, we must encourage children to meet separated Father’s home every weekend and whenever there is an opportunity, instead of supervised visitations or meetings limited to family court premises or within a park etc.

We must seek Law makers and Politicians to Grant immediate and equal (child) access to both parents, to legislate laws and make co-parenting mandatory to prevent expanding a fatherless society.

SIF- ONE : MEN SINGLE NUMBER HELPLINE & MOBILE APP

• #Scrap498a & Stop #Fakecases - YouTube

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Men in India, since times unknown, have been forced to be default Protector and Provider of just not the society but their families as well. They have been forced to give death or get death in name of Patriotism, Masculinity, Chivalry and other Feminism bred Adjectives. And the same society has always kept their ears shut to the problems of men. BUT, NOW NO MORE. Save Indian Family (SIF) announces a single number helpline for Indian Men across the globe who are suffering at the hands of various Gender Biased Laws, Rules & notions made applicable to them forcibly.

From today, Save Indian Family has launched it’s all India Helpline Number 0-8882-498-498, SIF - ONE for all men and their family members who are suffering at the hands of any of the Anti-Male Laws / Rules / Norms. This Helpline is freely available to all callers to reach out to experienced counsellors who would be more than eager to help men in distress. It, in true terms, is “SIF – One: Helpline for Men”. Anyone man in distress because of either False rape or False Matrimonial cases, can call this free helpline number to reach out to nearest location counselors or visit www.saveindianfamily.in for other options. The Helpline also offers the special feature to callers to leave their voice mail too in case of all lines being busy. The Helpline will offer multiple lines on this single access number:

SIF is proud to announce launch of two more Tech Tools for helping men. Activists of Save Indian Family have developed and launched new tools and thus putting their footsteps on the platform of Technology based Help for Men.

SIF is also proud to present the “SIF APP”, which is a Free Mobile Application available to all users of Google Playstore. Smart Phone (Google Playstore) users just need to search “SIF App” 

and  download it on their phones and have a direct access to SIF’s helpline, email help, Yahoogroups, websites, Updates, Save Family E-Magazine and it’s Weekly Meeting details. 

Photo by Mark : SIF-One Men Help Line for Abused & Distress Men

SIF is also proud to present it’s new DOS-based Tweeting application “SWITTER” which has been developed by SIF Activists to enable & enhance SIF’s Twitter Action team have a much faster and better use of Twitter. SWITTER will be available to SIF’s twitter activists and help them do targeted twitter campaigns for spreading awareness to society.

With SIF – One, SIF App & SWITTER, Save Indian Family is confident to reach out to more and more distressed men who have no support system available from the society or from the government. We are very positive that SIF, with these new golden steps, would be able to hit upon the biggest issue for men, Misandry. India witnesses approx. 65000 Husband Suicide in India each year, which means 1 Husband commits suicide every 8.3 minutes and hence SIF would want to request whole India via this Press Release, that there is hope and now we are nearer to you to help you.

When, in 2005, Save Indian Family Movement was founded, Men were already ignored and the Law Makers, under the pressure from heavily funded Feminist groups were coming up with Legislations which in name of Women Empowerment were creating “assassin’s weapon” to penalize Men and bring in more and more hatred against men in the society. Since then, SaveIndian Family (SIF) Movement has helped over 10 Lakh families across the globe who have been suffering at the hands of various Gender Biased Laws of India. Through it’s various allied NGOs, including (SFF) Save Family Foundation, Delhi (Regd. NGO), SIF has been tirelessly working towards bringing peace and harmony to lives of Men and their family members dues to various False and Frivolous litigation instituted via these “Easy to Misuse” Gender Biased Laws.