Monday, 29 July 2013

#StopElderAbuse: 63 Years old Sachin Protest in Front of PM House

Never did Mr. Sachin ,  a 63 years old sincere Govt. Servant imagine that his fate will bring him and his family to such a terrible juncture. 

Son of a freedom fighter, thin, frail Sachin worked as a post man at the Head Post office in Delhi for the last 35 years. Over all these years his meager earnings did not stop him from following his father's ideals.He brought up his three children with ethics and principles.He spent all his earnings and sold ancestral land to finance his only son's engineering education .

His eldest daughter was married off a few years ago.After finishing his engineering, his son got job in a small software firm and started earning some seven thousand rupees per month. That was of great help to Mr. Sachin and his family. 

But the relief was short lived. The problems started once Mr. Sachin's  son married. By that time, his son started working for a big MNC software firm Delhi.

His daughter-in-law came from a lower middle class family.Soon after marriage the daughter-in-law left for her parental home andwith a condition that she will return only if she and her husband(Mr. Sachin's son) stay separate from his family.All convincing by family elders were of no avail .

Finally, Mr. Sachin agreed to allow his son and daughter-in-law to stay in a separate rented house even against his son's wish. After all like a typical Indian he thought that his son's life was more important than his happiness. The problems did not subside . 

His daughter-in-law and her parents started insisting that his son must not pay a single penny for sister's education or some expenses for Mr. Sachin's family.
Mr. Sachin had spent everything saved on his children's education. He had even sold some ancestral land for education of his son. He gets paltry pension now which does not even cover the medical expenses of family.

By now Mr. Sachin's son said enough is enough. He put his foot down and told his wife that he is no more going to accept her non-caring nature for his age old parents and young sisters, he have to supports his family it is his moral duty.

His wife immediately left his house and next day Mr.Sachin's son heard there is police outside his company asking to see him. He reached police station along with his father.  

His wife with her lawyer uncle has complained at the police station that she is being mentally and physically harassed by her in-laws and husband along with a whole bunch of lies.

The counselors in police station started bullying them so that they will give in writing that Sachin's son must not pay any thing and must not visit his parents. 
Mr.Sachin's son refused. 

Mr.Sachin'sdaughter-in-law gave the ultimatum that if they do not comply in 2 days,she will get the entire family arrested and put inside jail.
Next day morning, police walked into their house and arrested Sachin ,his wife, his son, his younger daughter studding BSC in a local college.
The FIR was lodged by his daughter-in-law that she was harassed mentally and physically and that is enough under section 498a of Indian Penal Code for arrest of all family members without any investigation by police.

After 4 days, a family friend got a lawyer to apply bail for the entire family. In another 5 days, the family got released and returned home.The bail had the condition that Sachin  must visit police station every Monday morning and give attendance.

Now, the entire family is shattered. Mr. Sachin cries "My daughter-in-law ruined my family."

He went to the local NGOs and women organizations seeking some help.They told him to get lost. He keeps running to local Human Rights organizations.They all told him that they have not time for people who are falsely accused under section 498a and they have high priorities like women empowerment and other human rights issued.  

Mr. Sachin retorts "Isn't my wife a woman ? Is not my UN-married daughter women who got jailed without any fault ?The daughter-in-law and son were staying separately and where is the question of harassment ?"

The daughter-in-law has not complained of any dowry harassment as no dowry was taken by their community. She had only complained of mental and physical harassment. Mr. Sachin wonders how can innocent women, old people be arrested with just the word of a daughter-in-law and that too without any investigation.

He asks "How does Indian constitution allow people to be arrested just by a single line of complaint by a vicious daughter-in-law ?"

Now government Proposed another another LAW IRBM the "New divorce law", where if a daughter-in-law file a divorce case after 3-years his son can't oppose and divorce will be granted without proving any Fault of his son, but he have to give her the share for the inherited Home in which he and his UN-married daughter staying . The case 498A will continue again for next 10- to 15 years to found who is at fault , but before that Mr. Sachin have to loose his home without any confirmation, he or his son or daughter is guilty or not.

The contribution of a Father for his son's education/carrier for 30 Years no rewards , in old age he does not have any right to Son saving/earning , but a Young educated Daughter-in-law have right to even his inherited Home by default , let she had contributed in marriage even for 1 day or 1-2 years.

#IRBM  another LAW to promote the Elder abuse and property garbing in India COMING SOON...... "irretrievable breakdown of marriage".

63 years old Mr. Sachin reach to PM House to Roll Back such unfair/biased/property garbing law, when maximum are prefer to sleep in optimization, that such law will never hit them as the chances of a Divorce cases in their life or their son  or brother life is 0% like Mr. Sachin used to think. 

Join SIF Team to Stop this legal terrorism of India and demand to replace the word Husband/wife to Spouse to all marriage related LAW or policy like all over world follow instead of making assumption that all wives born in Raja Harish Chandra family ( never lie) and all husbands born in Criminal family.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Demand of Reverse Dowry ( Sowry) In India not Crime!

An ever-increasing number of the city's privileged women and Men are waking up to this brutal reality.An estimated 95% of the Story received by the Save Indian Family Yahoo Group ( SIF) in recent times have been from the IIT , IIM , IT, MBA and well educated People who believes in hard working , honesty and self respecting and well settled in their Carrier .

In their wildest dream also they and their age old Parents or Sister never ever thought , that they will one day visit a court room or Police Station , but in reality , today their day start after visiting the Court Room or Police Station .

It's a fact borne out by Mrs. Vijya ( A school teacher )and his son Anil Sharma. When Anil married Sangeeta, a high-profile entrepreneur, featured often in the lifestyle pages of the dailies, she thought his son found his dream partner."Last year, though, Anil came to us, complaining that Sangeeta was involved with someone else, and was mentally and physically torturing him. The case has now gone to the courts," revealed a SIF Volunteer.

More surprising is — 98% of the Story that come to SIF is Sorry-related (reverse of Dowry). Obviously, money is never enough. Interestingly, a high 85% relate to harassment by in-laws, blackmailing, and extortion of money, putting false 498A and dowry harassment case.

"Marriages are a status statement for this level of society. Invariably, the expectations of high demanding wife and their parents are became very illogical and the poor husband and their family not able to met. On the other and the Men bears the brunt of the disappointment, as you can see in false 498A case, (which Supreme court of India described as “Legal Terrorism"

The matter doesn't stop at harassment though, it soon degenerates to physical abuse, threat to kill, defame in the society and office by the support of a lot of Women Organization. According to Mahesh Tiwari, A Supreme court Lawyer: "Domestic violence is never contained by money. The Husband and their parents and Sister get little support from the LAW, Police and Human Right Organization and are at the mercy of the Wife and their family."Since that amorphous commodity, reputation is at a premium, cases are generally hushed up, admitted By Mr. Mahesh Tiwari."The trend is to strike a compromise in the range of 10 to 50 Lacks , legal dowry , which is termed as Sowry Harassment .

"The domestic violence that you witness at this level is very different. For instance, we've had cases where the family would ensure that no marks would be left on the Husband and Mother in LAW , Sister –In Law body .But the physical and mental trauma is still enormous," added Ashish .

Relationships with in-laws are no different in this strata, agreed experts. Ashish cited the case of a couple where the Wife,working in a call center, was actively encouraged to continue her extra-marital affair by her parents as they felt their Son-in-law didn't contribute to the family budget."Education doesn't make any difference. In our society, it's easy to hit your Husband and his mother, sister and get away with it," rued Ashish.

The figures certainly point to it.Of the 162 story received over the past six months with SIF, 159were against the wife or in-laws about Sowry demand starting from 2 lacks to 90 Lacks.A telling 82 involved physical violence against the Husband and their relatives.

"It's more frustrating when the Husband and their parents and sister knows that there are no options outside , as media , Human right organization have enough time and money to protect the TADA/POTA Victim , but as WHO ( World Health Organization ) , say there is a Missing Voice ,

“ The biggest problem of India is Non caring Nature of Daughter –In –Law , for which they abuse the Elders , but for that forget any Punishment , there is no Provision for a Small warning for them . So those Dishonest Daughter –in –Law , doing the Legal Terrorism as Our government had given them the Whole sale Free License for that .”

Recent Help Age Report also confirms : 44% Elder abuse by Daughter-in-Law , 33% by Daughters and 22% by son , still in Media it is always shown the harassment by Men, a desperate attempt to hide the real fact of Harassment to Elders by Daughter-in-law or by Daughter .

Join SIF Team to Stop this legal terrorism of India and demand to replace the word Husband/wife to Spouse to all marriage related LAW or policy like all over world follow instead of making assumption that all wives born in Raja Harish Chandra family ( never lie) and all husbands born in Criminal family.

Effect of Divorce on Indian Men !

The effects of divorce differ by situation and personal circumstance and may be different for men and women.

Most dangerous stage for men is, waiting for divorce (maximum crime of spouse murder/suicide occurred) than after divorce. as marriage disputes in India, irrespective the man is right or wrong ,they had been abused, blackmailed, treated as Free ATM machine in front of society/police/court every where. In India marriage disputes had been termed as crime for men, not for women. Recently one Great Anchor of NDTV argued as 60% Divorce filed by women means women are harrased, but same anchor do not forget to term any Men as Wife beater/dowry seeker when 40% Men file for Divorce.

Awaiting for divorce and the suicide statistics of crime bure report reflects the same.

• Crime Bure data 2012 : Married Men Sucide : 63343 vs Married Women Sucide 32000.Still there is no LAW to Protect Men why?

After divorce the men’s life became more comfortable or worse, it depends purely on how troublesome was his marriage, what type of Divorce litigation he faced.

Perception shift:

Till 1990 or up to 2000, the basic perceptions were, a divorced woman is means she is a liberated women and a divorced men means he is a wife beater/abuser, thanks to special law 498A in 1983.

But 2000 onwards the same got changed and the society slowly accepted that A divorced men also can be victims of Domestic violence in terms of financial abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse , physical abuse and the same reflects in the Suicide statistics of Men vs Women. As the divorce rate will increase more and more the same perception change will increase more, some one like it or hate it that is the fact of irony.

Going through a divorce is never easy for anybody; however, there are certain effects of a failed marriage that occurs more often with men, than with women. When a marriage is about to be dissolved, emotions often runs high, and a lot of important financial decisions have to be made.

This is almost always a recipe for disaster. As a general rule: Never mix emotions and finances, or emotions and legal matters.

Effect of Divorce on Indian Men:

1. Financial effect: Huge loss irrespective the men is right or wrong.
2. Government support: Due to no men welfare ministry and no shelter homes, no one cares for men.
3. Emotional effect: Depend on type of trouble he faced, type of marriage they have, time spend together, child involved or not and the last think the type of divorce man got.
4. Loss of child access: Major problem and maximum divorced men suicide related to that.
5. Social effect: It is not exactly loss, his the social and networking circle got changed, attract towards more unclear family instead of joint family.

Personnel life:

1. Try to Enjoy their work place much better than previous.
2. Spend more money for their self use/fun/enjoy/travel/satisfactions of life.
3. Get less angry for small issue.
4. Became less expected in life.

With the present set up , when the country like USA , who had more than 50% divorce, their child taken the initiative for marriage more workable and the divorce rate is reducing, the country like India and Asian country divorce is increasing and that is the hard reality, as we always think the rivers other side is better than our side.

Situation in USA:

Fifty percent of all children are children of divorce. Twenty-eight percent of all children are born of never married parents. Divorce is expensive. Aid for Dependent Children (AFDC) resources are drained by the needs of divorced and single parent families; including the cost of collecting child support.

For men:

1. Men are usually confronted with greater emotional adjustment problems than women. The reasons for this are related to the loss of intimacy, the loss of social connection, reduced finances, and the common interruption of the parental role.
2. Men get remarry Proposal more quickly than women but prefer to refuse more often.
3. As compared to “deadbeat dads,” men who have shared parenting (joint legal custody), ample time with their children, and an understanding of and direct responsibility for activities and expenses of children stay involved in their children’s lives and are in greater compliance with child support obligations. There is also a greater satisfaction with child support amount when negotiated in mediation. Budgets are prepared, and responsibility divided in a way that parents understand.
4. Men are initially more negative about divorce than women and devote more energy in attempting to salvage the marriage.

With the learning from USA social impact, our aim and action as a commando of SIF movement should be to avoid the nasty divorce and promote more shared parenting, as though the society had more or less accepted the divorced men and women in open heart, but still there is some discrimination towards the divorced child.

If divorce is unavoidable, try to make the legal and financial matters strictly apart from the emotional matters, even if it tears you up inside, the alternative is a prolonged, expensive battle, that in many cases will make long lasting emotional scars on both sides, and prevent chances of a future reconciliation.

Statistically up to 15% of all divorcees end up reconciling with their former spouses, this figure could be higher if the divorce was handled in a friendly or even in a business-like manner.

Most important think is need to make the Divorce related law, less personal money earning business and less attractive and gender neutral policy/law, or be ready to increase the divorce rate and it is good or bad only future child will give the answers.

“Divorce is not the solution to a troubled marriage; but Indian men have very less choice, as there is no men well fare ministry who can think about them.

Thanks to India’s more than half dozens anti-male law and multiple litigation like 498A, DV act,CRPC125,Section24, Section18, biased adultery LAW and lot more are on the way very soon in the form of IRBM where a men may even loose 50 to 80% of his saving for " No FAULT" !!! ”

This is called the present Justice system in India and equal right in India, made by India Government.

For a wife even adultery also is not a crime (it is a rewarding option and free money earning business for the whole life), but for a man even an allegation of “Name-calling” is crime and not only the man, his mother/sister/age-old father also can be put behind the bar under 498A or DV act.
 So for men filling Divorce in India means moving From Frying Pan to Fire