Thursday, 27 March 2014

Why we can't allow some one to make SIF a Paid advice model ?

This is a true story of a commando of SIF from Delhi.

About a year ago, a victim of misuse of gender biased laws came to meet us the first time. At that time he was living at his own home. His father gave him Rs500 and told him that he would need it since free advice is not available for people trapped in false cases. He met us at SIF and saw many SIF volunteers providing free consultation and support to unfortunate, distressed victims. Inspired by what he witnessed, he went back to his father and returned the money. He informed his father about what he had seen at the Delhi weekly meeting and vowed that once he gets bail, he would become a volunteer and help others free of cost.

Today, he is one of the most loveable volunteers in SIF - Delhi chapter. He played a crucial role in making the recent SIF foundation day a success.

He is one of the many who have an emotional connection with SIF and have found solace in helping other victims in distress.

I ask myself this question: How can I accept or tolerate instances when I am asked to make SIF a paid service model? Is there no FREE LUNCH ever in life?

In the name of changing the strategy, how can I be expected to kill the emotional bond victims form with SIF?

Yes SIF knows that there is no Free lunch in other places, but we carry ethical and moral values of not milking a person when they are at the lowest ebb of their life! The greed for money in such circumstances is just not human.

We realize that funds are needed to run any movement, but to generate funds there are hundreds of ways, such as getting sponsors, donations from others under 80G, Corporate CSR funding etc to name a few. Over the past many years, the movement has never faced financial challenges since there are many who come forward without hesitation and sponsor events and activism.

SIF has worked hard and won hearts of people, and not intended to trap them in the name of advice or consultation fees.

Very sadly, nowadays many people are using the name of SIF to trap such men and families under distress. Such people are very vulnerable and hence get trapped by giving away money in the name of false promises of advice or help. It hence becomes the responsibility of all SIF members to create awareness on Facebook and other social networking sites against such greedy people and organisations that are trapping vulnerable men and families.

I urge all SIF members to share the message below within all your yahoo/google/local groups, facebook, social networking sites, blogs and your own websites to save people from falling in such traps.

CAUTION: All advice/help in SIF group membership/weekly meetings are free and no membership/advice fee is charged from any one, for the same.  Recently it has been observed that some people/organizations are using resources of SIF network to collect money from new victims in the name of giving advice/help with a sugar coated membership fees/charges etc. We hereby caution all new/old members not to fall in such traps. SIF strongly condemns such activity and cautions everyone, not to pay any money to anyone for getting free advice/help.

A Moderator of SIF

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

498A wife to be taking back or not?

The basic purpose of SIF is that our Brothers should be happy.

These are some of the advices we commonly offer:

1.         Yes, we advise people not to marry 498A abusing girls and their families.
2.         We also advise that you must not take back a 498A abusing wife.
3.         We advise you not to pay money or settle false cases and support our members to fight cases on merit. We suggest that you should pay what the court orders, rather than paying to settle the case.
4.         We do not advise you to file for divorce.

Every case is different; hence every case will have its own aims. We suggest a cautious approach and the decision to take a risk is in your hands. Do we disqualify anyone from SIF movement if they do eventually burn their hands and take a risk?

Answer is no.

However we do share our utter disappointment with those who have paid money in their first marriage, marry another 498A abusing woman and then come seeking our help. We believe that by paying off the first 498A abusing woman, you have sown the seeds for further abuse to another man.

The question then is why do we advise such strategies? The reason is that there are various risk factors secondary to gender biased laws in India like 498A, DV act, CRPC125 and anti-rape law to name a few.

In SIF we have followed these basic fundamental tenets since the inception of our movement. Anyone can confirm this by going through the very old messages on our yahoo group.

SIF aims to provide happiness to its family members. Our Mantra to success lies behind a basic formula: Stress = Uncertainty x Importance. Simple mathematics rule; make any of them zero and your stress will automatically become zero.

Most of our members take our suggestions, fight and win their cases. However there are many others who are not so courageous to fight such false cases. We do not judge them and support them like any other member of the SIF movement. We Do expect them Not to pay any money to get rid of the 498A abusing woman, since by not paying at least they are not allowing her to spoil another mans’ life. This is the least we can do for the society. We hold such men in high regard since they are doing whatever they can for the betterment of the society. 

Lets discuss the point of taking a 498A abusing wife back. It is indeed a risk, especially in the first 7 years of your marriage since in many cases Supreme Court has convicted people under 304B on mere evidence that there was a 498A filed earlier. Some people do end up taking that risk of taking 498A abusing wife without proper action planning. Such men eventually tend to suffer and indirectly create problems for others unknowingly. If you do wish to take that risk, then at least observe her behaviour while separated for 6 to 8 months and then cautiously consider taking her back. Taking a 498A abusing woman can be considered an interim strategy that will help you in the long run to win any cases later on.  

In many instances false 498A cases are not filed by wives, but by in-laws. In many other cases, the disputes are not between husband and wife but actually are family disputes. In family disputes we advise patience since with time situations tend to change for example after any of the troubling in-laws’ passes away. We have also seen family disputes happening when it was a love marriage and in-laws were not supportive of the marriage; and eventually became trouble makers later. Hence we say, every case is unique and needs careful assessment. 

Bottom line is that you know your case best, you know your ex best, you are the best judge to measure the risk that you can take, and you are in the best position to plan any consequences of the risks/actions taken today, i.e. what actions would you take if tomorrow the problem starts again. 

We suggest that your plan should have an immediate, an interim and a long term goal. As a basic litmus test for such 498A abusing wives, we encourage people to get a rented accommodation, invite her to stay with you, observe her behaviour closely and if problems are visible, collect evidence of her mis-deeds and leave that home.

Sadly some people misunderstand and worse still, attempt to malign SIF movement. Such people have never understood how SIF has withstood the test of time and managed to help lakhs of people in India and abroad. These people make false/fabricated lies on Facebook and other social/public networking sites. Such acts are strongly condemned. 

If anyone has doubts and is unable to understand SIF ideology, I invite them for discussions to help them understand who we are and how we have learnt from our success and failures over the years. In SIF we learn from each other’s successes and failures and grow strong.

A member is only shunned from SIF when he/she abuses SIF movement, undertakes anti-SIF activities, charges money in the name of membership/consultancy fees for the free advice we offer,  and violates basic guidelines as set by SIF. Those indulging in such anti-SIF activities will not have their numbers flashed as our helplines/members on our websites.

If SIF wanted to provide a paid service, we could have offered service using LAW firms. Law firms are always happy to help/advice by charging money as many of our members already know. SIF was created for a different purpose. 

We are a self-supported movement run by volunteers. We are not a money charging service provider. 

Lakhs of NGOs, Law and Consultancy firms undertake activities by charging money. If there is an addition of 1 or 2 in the list, it does not make any difference to SIF

SIF movement has not forced anyone to join the movement and neither does it stop anyone from leaving. 

SIFs ideology has been its backbone for survival over the years and if anything, it has got strong. 

Love it or hate it, but SIFs ideology remains what it was when it was created. 

The problems Indian men and families face are very complex due to biased, unfair laws and misandric society. Hence there is no fixed formula of success and I repeat every case is different.  You are the best judge of your risks and we can advise you best according to the risk you have measured. Our job is to help you assess the risk, think through with you about next steps and to spread awareness so that nobody else gets trapped like you. Please contact us through telephone or yahoo group. Ideally meet us in person at our weekly meetings that take place all across the country.

Finally, SIF wants all its members and other men in the country to be happy. Please learn from others, how they have measured risks, how they have taken cautious approach, how they have won cases and ensured happiness in their lives. 

If you are happy, we at SIF are happy !!

Thursday, 20 March 2014

Think 10 times before vote to Mr. Kapil Sibal in Elections 2014.

When, in 2005, Save Indian Family Movement was founded, Men were already ignored and the Law Makers, under the pressure from heavily funded Feminist groups were coming up with Legislation which in name of Women Empowerment were creating “assassin’s weapon” to penalize Men and bring in more and more hatred against men in the society.

Since then, Save Indian Family (SIF) Movement has helped over 10 Lakh families across the globe who have been suffering at the hands of various Gender Biased Laws of India. Through it’s various NGOs, including Save FamilyFoundation, Delhi (Regd. NGO), SIF has been tirelessly working towards bringing peace and harmony to lives of Men and their family members dues to various False and Frivolous litigation instituted via these “Easy to Misuse” Gender Biased Laws.

In the coming Elections2014 SIF and their associated NGO's appeal to all abused/depressed Men and their family members to think 10 times before Vote to Mr. Kapil Sibbal along with all Face book and Twitter users also, as all of you must know:

For the Same even Supreme court of India had asked government to re-look the same , but Mr. Kapil Sibal had not taken any action to re-peal  law , as it looks he is more interested to send people behind the bar if any think written against against Government and thus try to shut the mouth of all Young Voters of India.

RS approves Husband Killer Property Garbing LAW in name of Easy Divorce to Women.

Your hard earned money/property does not belong to you. You are going to loose your hard earned money/property/child under this law even without any fault of you.

The Bill allows parties to file for divorce on the ground of "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage, but if Husband file divorce wife can oppose the same on the ground of "Financial Hardship" but if Wife file Divorce Husband can't oppose it, plus wife can claim Property/money, Child from husband irrespective the Fault of her or Husband. Let wife have 100 crs but husband will not get one rupees but if husband have 10L saving for future , he will be forced to give 50 to 70 %, even without any fault of him.

Mr. Kapil Sibbal said the divorce is “gender neutral” (is a pure lie, as the word had not changed from husband/wife to spouse, as followed by all over world), the right over property/Child will not be gender neutral as wife can lay claim on husband’s immovable/movable property and also run away with Child.

During discussions, several MPs across party lines, even a Congress MP, suggested the Bill to be made gender neutral and should not be confined to Hindu marriages only.But their numbers fall Flat as BJP & Congress Join hands to pass at the time of voting.

The erstwhile Law Minister, Shri Kapil Sibal, had the opportunity to bring back the trust of the
society into the Law Making process and ensure the Natural Justice system in India ,  but he chose to work otherwise.

Looking at such kind of treatment given to the very People who he represented & such backstabbing done to the society, Men’s Rights groups across the globe would be campaigning against Mr. Sibal. Kapil Sibal is the contestant for Indian National Congress from Chandani Chowk, Delhi. We, with this Press Release, would request all voters to not to trust candidate like Mr. Sibal who misused & abused his power of a Cabinet Minister.

We, hereby advise all voters to think 10 times before vote to Mr. Sibal . You may vote any other candidate of your choice or can vote under NOTA (None of the above) option.


You have option to Vote to Mr. Kapil Sibbal and bring your own death like every year more than 68000 married men ending their life under suicide as per NCRB data.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Journey of SIF : 10th Foundation Day

Journey of SIF : 10th Foundation Day

Today some one may love or hate SIF , but can't ignore any more as the same became a Ray of Hope for many abused/distressed men of India.

P.S. This is not for sale, only Free circulation.

Monday, 10 March 2014

A Ray of Hope for abused/Depressed Indian men : SIF

Save Indian family (SIF) A name which few people would have heard or cared about 9 years back, but today this is a force to reckon with. The membership of SIF has reached lakhs across the world. Most of the prominent members of SIF come from well-educated and respected families. 

SIF also has a large number of women supporters who have joined the movement realizing the pain and trauma men and their families go through in Indian society. Many of these women supporters have been victims themselves as sisters, mothers and mother-in-laws. These ladies themselves were falsely implicated due to gender biased laws that are wife-centric. Members of SIF aim to protect men and women from extortionist wives, corrupt Police officials and biased judiciary.
This is a true story of a man, Bharat. In 2005, Bharat was a hard-working young man, who jumped through many hoops to make a successful career as a scientist. He was raised to believe that a good man puts women and children first, protects and provides for his family, respects women, and endures pain and sacrifice without heaving a sigh.

Unfortunately, he was unaware of a fact that good men are often at the receiving end of abuse; until he himself became a victim of spousal violence and witnessed societal apathy towards men like him. To add to his woes, he also became victim of gender biased law IPC Section 498A, a law which gave undue credibility to his wife, and treated him as guilty until he could prove himself innocent. He was arrested and imprisoned for a crime he did not commit. He had to witness his parents and siblings being jailed for no fault of theirs. He lost his job and suffered unbearable pain due to separation from his child. Having lost all hope, he ended his life at a tender age of 28. In local dailies, news of his death was flashed as "A scientist ends his life due to financial problems.”

Bharat’s story is just one of more than 68000 thousand men in India, whose thankless lives taken away every year just when they are ready to blossom. Statistics from the National Crime Records Bureau show that every 9 minutes one married Indian man committed suicide unable to withstand verbal, emotional, economic and physical abuse and legal harassment.

An unanswered question from SIF to all social activists and law makers: Is the Pain of A Mother or Sister any less when they lose their Son or Brother?

In the last 150 days SIF and its associated 35+ NGOs all over India, have been mentioned in the media in 60 different articles. If every article has been read by at least 100,000 people, then about 8 million people across the world would have known or heard about SIF and that is something to be proud of.

We believe in the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi and we get our inspiration from this great man. We believe in his words "First they ignore you, then they mock you, then they fight you, then you win "!!

SIF is aware of the odds stacked against it. SIF knows very well that media and other industries would love to see more family break ups, because family breakups increase spending and this further drives up the demands for the goods and products. "A united family will own one TV while a dived family will need two is the simple reasoning.”

However SIF knows it will win, because SIF is on the same side as truth is and we believe that "Truth Always Wins"(Satyamev Jayate).
SIF may not have the blessing of the Government of India, but we do have the blessings of thousands of mothers, grandmothers and sisters who work and fight with us day in and day out trying to educate the slumbering Indian populace.
SIF has the support of hundreds of small but nevertheless important NGOs who work with us to spread the word on how gender biased laws are destroying Indian society. We all try to wake up the people of India to bring about gender equality in the society.

We know we will win and we will succeed in creating a Ministry for the Welfare of Indian Men .

We know that the night is darkest before the sun shines and the SIF has no doubt that the sun will shine and spread the rays of hope, peace and family harmony that will keep the Indian family as a cohesive unit for the next ten thousand years.

On this occasion, SIF would also like to review the present status of men in Indian society and highlight the need to accord men the privileges and protections that they rightly deserve as fellow humans.

Thousands of men are becoming victims of "legal terrorism" unleashed by the misuse of Indian Penal Code Section 498A, Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, adultery laws, laws against rape and sexual harassment, and even divorce, maintenance and child custody laws.

The Universal Declaration of Human rights states that "all are equal before the law, and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law". Article 14 of the Indian Constitution declares that "The State shall not deny to any person equality before the law or the equal protection of the laws within the territory of India." However, the Government of India has not made any provisions to protect men against any form of domestic abuse or harassment at the work place.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights also proclaims that "everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law."  However, women-centric laws in India presume that the accused man is guilty until he can prove his innocence, thus violating the presumption of innocence and the principles of fair trial which is guaranteed under Articles 20 and 21 of the Constitution of India, in addition to defying the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

SFF has been working hard to sensitize the public to these serious issues, and to urge the Government to take appropriate measures to alleviate men's woes in the present times.

I request all honest citizens of India, to Join SIF Team, to Stop such legal terrorism against Indian men and demand to replace the word "Husband/wife" to "Spouse" and "Men/Women" to "Person" in all Laws and Policies. This is followed all across the world and assumptions that Women never lie do not hold ground. As per Indian Laws her verbal allegations, without any evidence, are sufficient to label anyone as a rapist, wife beater or dowry seeker. This is nothing but promotion of injustice and such injustice has and will continue to become an extortion tool.

On the eve of SIF Foundation day , we make an appeal to Indian Government to Form

Ministry of Men's Welfare.
   - *As per Crime Bureau of India, more than 92,000 men commit suicide
   every year*
   - *Why 3.5 lac men are losing their jobs per year?*
   - *According to** Labour and Employment Ministry (2001 to 2005), more
   than 13 lakh Men became Jobless and the count is increasing every year.

Today some one may love or hate SIF , but can't ignore any more as the same became a Ray of Hope for many abused/distressed men of India.