Subject: The theme for this year’s IMD is: “Stop Abuse Against Men”
International Men’s Day is first celebrated in Trinidad and Tobago in 1999. Since then, every year it is celebrated in more than 80 countries across the world.
Today, the social expectations from men are continuously increasing. The suicide rates of married men are going skywards as more and more men are taken for granted for their contributions to family, cultures and societies. Every year, International Men’s Day is observed to celebrate being male and to spend one day acknowledging the positive contribution of men towards family and the society, in this age of constant criticism, male bashing and misandry in popular culture.
This year, the focus of International Men’s Day in India is to initiate the discussion among men about the very attributes and constraints of “being a REAL MALE”. Till now, most men perceive it to be unmanly, if they discuss any of men’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities including celebrating International Men’s Day. These attitudes are not helping men transform for a peaceful world.
In past, many powerful patriarchal men even considered it unmanly to celebrate the international Men’s Day.
When 3 times more men compared women die in accidents, murders and suicides every year in India, still many men live in denial of their own problems and refuse to seek help or support as they are stuck inside the traditional notions of manhood. Freedom of men from these regressive attitudes is a must, if we all wish for a better world for every human being. Its time men start communicating and sharing their issues and their personal vulnerabilities in their relationships.
According to our survey, 84% of urban Indian males find domestic violence against men by women is funny and abused husbands are not male enough.
Such mindset basically means Men who hit back at the abusive women are “Real Men” and Men who take the abuse without reacting, are not “Real Men”.
Interestingly, the feminists want men to change and yet they want men to remain “Real Men”. Such contradictions in their thinking show, how intellectually challenged they are.
If men have to transform, then one has to look at Male Identity from Men’s Prism, not from Women’s Prism or from Women’s Studies Courses or feminism.
Men must not be made to Earn Manhood:
Do we ever make any woman earn her womanhood? How ridiculous it would be, if we start doing that. Do we call a girl a woman, when she produces a child? No. A girl becomes a woman due to biology. However, societies and cultures have always made men earn their manhood by taking risks and achieving some definite accomplishments. So often we hear the phrase, “be a man and do something”. Men who fail in taking risks or showing courage or Men, who do not have accomplishments are shamed as “losers” and “cowards”, who are not male enough. Cultures have kept the male identity very delicate.
The male ego is fragile, because cultures have made manhood of a man very delicate.
Such attitudes constantly create pressure and stress on men to perform, otherwise he risks losing his identity as a male. So, men avoid doing anything that makes them laughing matter for others, including not sharing their problems and weaknesses. The other side of this behavior is men try to show off their manhood and brag about their achievements and sexual exploits.
A Man is a man, irrespective of whether he is straight or gay, rich or poor, employed or unemployed. A Man must not be culturally made to earn his manhood.
Women and Men must stop shaming men, “What kind of Man you are? Common, Be a Man”.
On International Men’s Day, 19th November, we urge:
1. Men in powerful positions must stop living in denial about men’s issues and even their own vulnerabilities.2. Male film actors must work to end the glorification of violent male protector role.3. Men must not be shamed with expectations of traditional male identity. Its time society stops tearing men between both traditional Conservative and modern Liberal expectations.4. Immediate establishment of Male Studies departments in Universities.5. Men must go beyond “Good versus Evil” wars so that we can have a peaceful world.6. Establishment of National Commission for Men to create gender equality.
Every day is not a Men’s Day. Otherwise, the world would not have seen slavery and discrimination of Men on the basis of race, caste, color or religion.
Its time Men stop living in denial about their issues and celebrate International Men’s Day (IMD).
Survey about Men’s Attitudes and Men’s Issues:
This survey was conducted in 3 urban Indian cities and it is about Men attitudes towards men’s issues and gender relationships.
1. Most men find videos of wife beating husband as funny. 84% men say domestic violence against men is funny.
2. 85% urban men are not aware of laws related to marriage like Hindu Marriage Act and other laws.
3. One in 12 married men between ages 25 to 40 is separated or is facing divorce.
4. Only 4% of all unmarried Men recognize Marital Problems may impact their lives in future.
5. 87% men are more worried about safety of their parents than themselves, when their marital problems escalate. They hate to imagine, their parents going to courts.
6. 67% (2 out of 3) men find it difficult to share their relationship problems to their parents or close friends until it is too late. They are scared that parents and friends will not trust them.
7. Most men are also over protective about their sister’s or daughter’s marriage. 92% of men of all age groups find it very difficult to accept the breakdown of their sister’s or daughter’s marriage.
8. 50% men going through marital problems feel low self-esteem, feel depressed and contemplate suicide at one time or other.
9. 52% men find it difficult to indulge in sexual intercourse, if verbally abused by wife or partner the same day. They tend to reject any advances made (by wife).
Gender wise, Statistics of number of victims of Murders, Suicides and Accidents all over India, in Year 2009 (courtesy: Ministry of Home Affairs, Indian Government).
Male Victims-24,441, Female Victims-8,718 Total Victims-33,159
Culpabale Homicide Not Amounting To Murder (Sec.304 and 308 IPC) During 2009
Male Victims=3,529, Female Victims=753 Total Victims=4282
Dowry Death Convictions (75% dowry death cases are false and lead to no convictions)
In 2009, 2008 and 2007 the dowry death convictions are 1882, 1948 and 1946 respectively.
These dowry deaths are too small a number for a country of 1.2 billion people.
Male Victims=276,333(77.4%) Female Victims=80,688 (22.6%) Total Victims=357021
Male Victims=81,471 Female victims=45,680 (Total Victims=127151)
(Male Victims=64.1%, female Victims=35.9%)
Total Victims of Suicide, Murder and Accidents:
Male Victims=361,333(73%) Female Victims=135,839 (27%)
1) The time has come to establish “Ministry for Men Welfare”. We demand on this day to the Govt of India to establish the “Ministry for Men Welfare”
2) All gender biased laws like IPC 498A, DV Act, Proposed Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill”, Proposed “Marriage Law Bill 2010 (Amendment)”, Adultery Law (IPC 497) should be made Gender Neutral.
3) End the "legal terrorism" perpetrated through the misuse of anti-male, anti-family laws. Make IPC 498A bailable and non-congnizable.
4) Make provisions to punish those who abuse the judicial process irrespective of gender.
5) Confer protection upon men against verbal, emotional, economic, physical and sexual abuse at home and in the work place.
6) Grant joint child custody to both spouses upon dissolution of marriage.
International Men’s Day – 19 November!
Request all honest citizen of India , Join SIF Team to Stop such legal terrorism against Indian men and demand to replace the word "Husband/wife" to "Spouse" and "Men/Women" to "Person" to all related LAW or policy like all over world follow instead of making assumption that all Women born in Raja Harish Chandra family ( never lie) and all Men born in Criminal family.
PPT to stop the legal terrorism