Saturday, 4 July 2015

Sacrifice, love and Care by Mother-in-Laws for Daughter-in-Law alwasy ignored

Yesterday night when I was reading some articles like: 
  •  Trendy Pin curls : Old is Gold! Sport this classy vintage 80s look. 

Never thought the little moments to be lost soon for many boys/men with their mother's, who will be termed as mother-in-law as soon as they will get married in India.

A Mother to be loved will be shifted to most hatred category called Mother-in-law.

Recently a well known politician showed me a SMS send by her wife: “After marriage your priority is to care your wife and own child, but you prefer to take care your Selfish Mother. “

Unfortunately the politician’s mother is a widow and more than 75 years old. Now he had only one option to send her widow mother to old age home, no other option.

Some where I had read a comment, if a daughter-in-law had not been cruel and selfish; there had not been any Old age home today. Thanks to Law makers, our cruel, abusive, selfish Daughter-in-Law never get any punishment by our Domestic Violence law, but for mother-in-laws they even have to leave their own home and go to old age home. 

In the morning got two small news cutting, a women life had been saved by her mother-in-law by donating her own Kidney, when the women’s own mother refused to donate the same in last moment in operation Table. 

A little moments , which failed to make any attention to any front line media houses or any political party leaders or any social activists tweet.

Mother-in-Law donate Kidney

Bengali News : Mother-In-Law donate Kidney

Such news never became a main stream media head lines or any long debate ever happened in India. The sacrifice , love, care by Mother-in-laws provide for their Daughter-in-law always had been ignored.

Start form child care, households works, preparation for festivals the un-paid work done by our mother-in-laws always ignored. Thanks to our "Sas bhi kabhi bahu thi " type (Once mother-in-law also was daughter-in-law) serials along with a un-written agenda by media houses, which gives MIL the tag of selfish, cruel and abusive only by default.

The hatred against mother-in-laws spared in such a way , that we forget every year more than 15000 unmarried girls ending their life via suicide on their own mother home, as per NCRB data which is 3-times higher when you compared to per lack population of girls/women died in their mother-in-law home.

The girls burnt alive or murdered in their own Mother home also not less than when compared to number of women/girls death in mother-in-laws home per lack population comparisons.

Now, when come to abusive, cruel, selfish daughter-in-law none will able to say that there is no such women exist. Few years back we have witness how a Jaipur daughter-in-law keep ill treating was recorded by a social activist and the same was termed as “Abhaki Maa” (unfortunate mother) .

Various elder abuse reports also suggest more than 70% daughter-in-law abuses and do domestic violence against their age old mother-in-laws. 

But read the Indian Domestic Violence law, when a mother-in-law face any form of domestic violence from daughter-in-law, there is no provision for any relief, as the respondent to be “Male” only.

It reminds me my Grandmothers love and care she provided to me in my school days, if I today compared is priceless, which I may not able to return her any cost.

Many of today’s mother-in-laws , broken our Joint family, moving towards single parent’s father less society even by breaking nuclear family in the name of liberation of women, today at receiving hand ,  but today’s daughter-in-laws must remember Bhau bhi kabhi Sas Hogi ( A daughter-in-law also will became one day Mother-in-Law ) .

We had coined the word like “Mygonist” who spread or promote female hatred,“Misandric” who spread or promote male hatred, but wonder what name to be given such people who spared and promote hate towards mother-in-laws of India, by ignoring their love sacrifice and care towards all family members.

At the end would like to share on a positive note, few months back I was witness to meet very strong, bold female actors, who was in news for various time and faced multiple cases for her comment towards sexual liberation of girls/women, surprisingly living last 15 years in a Joint family and do not shy away to say her 2-children always prefer her mother-in-laws company than her. 

Photo by Mark : Husband Sister , Mother also women


YAKSH said...

In old movies, we have seen mother-in-law the Nirupma Roy type and Lalita Panwar type.
But our judicial syatem recognises / treats all mother-in-laws as Lalita Panwar.
Smt. Vimla is an example of sacrifies of mother-in-law for her daughter-in-law but but it is realy shame to our media that it is neither a headline nor a news for most of them.
I am heartly greatful to those media persons who brought this news among us.

Swarup Sarkar said...

When main stream Media ignore a cause , tats the time social media became your platform. As a bloggers , it's our responsibility to bring such news to readers notice .

Partha Sadhukhan said...

Yeah this is a very ignored side of our life that is never highlighted by media. Thanks for bringing it up.


ab said...

Mothers in law are good and bad? Which daughter in law is going to become bad mother in law? Definitely a bad one. Which woman is going to become a bad daughter in law? obviously a bad women. So the remedy lies in nipping the devil in the bud. Prevent bad women from marrying