Be happy without her or Suicide due to her abuse ?

As per NCRB reports till 2013, every year on or average more than 64000+ married men ending their life, but in 2014 we witness about 10% reduction i.e. 59700+, clear effect of  SIF-One multi city, self supported, self volunteered-  Single Number helpline for distressed/abused men launched in 2013.

 But still the married men suicide continue to be double than married women suicide in India.

The same is neither a concern for government nor any Media house. Even National family health Survey committee also had not made any effort till today to find or to understand the problem of such males in India.

Many guys of today’s SIF volunteers network might had been also added their name in that list of NCRB, if they had not gone through with Time to time SIF weekly meetings, Work shop, Get-together, National Meets , Event like Protest, Press conference, Meeting your MP, organized by SIF Network NGO’s in multiple city all over India and world.

Hopefor Men is one of such training module designed by SIF volunteers from the various success and failure story of distressed / abused men of India. Such work shop brings some smile to many hopeless men of India, who find a reason to live a life than end their life as harassed Husband.

 

A simple formula, which I got in one of my corporate training program perfectly fit for all, not only in your family problem, even you can use for stress free professional life also.

 

•      STRESS = UNCERTAINTY * IMPORTANCE

 

•      MAKE ONE OF THEM ZERO, YOUR STRESS WILL BE ZERO.
•      Try to reduce any of the two; your stress will get reduced by default.
•      The more you will try to increase Uncertainty or Importance; your stress will keep increasing.

There can be some situation where neither you are in a position to reduce uncertainty or importance, use ANY OF 3A:

• ACCEPT

• ACTION PLAN

•   AVOID

Number of time we witness distressed call in our helpline, my wife is staying with me and threatening me for false cases, what should I do?

•          Must use technology; start recording (Video/Audio) all her threats and Blackmailing, as your verbal allegation no one going believe. 

•          Try if you can stay alone with your wife; away from your parents/family, it’s a tuff call, but present Domestic Violence act may give more trouble to your parents. 

•          Keep a track of all the expenses that you are doing on her, because 99% she will make allegations, you have not provided even food to her.

•          Keep all important documents/valuables away from her, have witness many cases husband’s passport, PAN, educational documents had been destroyed.

•          Keep a proof of her educational Qualifications, Job, Salary etc, as 90% cases we had observed husband running pillar to post even to gather a simple wife about PAN numbers , where as wives have already collected not only husband even his forefather all assets details .

•          Keep relatives / neighbours informed, don’t try to hide your problem. First accept you are a Victim of Domestic abuse, and then only you will able to try to find solution. The more you will be in denial mode, more pain and suffering you going to face.

At the time she is leaving:

•          Inform the police as soon as she leaves the house if possible just make a call 100 numbers and it get recorded. 99.9% cases the allegations are it is husband throw her in the mid night, where as fact is she left your home in Open day light with her all belongings.

•          Take a receipt of the things that she is carrying with her; get it signed by witnesses and if she refuses call 100 numbers and get recorded the same.

•          Try to keep the kids with you (if possible).

Most important, time to start join SIF network to update your own knowledge, reading various Supreme Court Judgements, success and failure story of your fellow male victims of domestic abuse.

Start visiting police station, courts when you have free time and be comfortable in advance than get shocked when you have to visit those places one day.

The dangerous situation and most distressed panicked call we get like, wife is NOT staying with me but threatening me for false cases, what should I do?

•         Use of technology and patience is key, start recording all phone calls with her (family) if they call you or threat you. Avoid to make call back to any miss calls, it can be trap to make evidence you call them and given threat.

•         Keep a record of your presence (especially on weekends/holidays), as 90% cases the allegations are you went their home, beat them, threat them and demanded dowry, to make a prima face evidence to file criminal case in their own Police station.

•          Do not close channels of communications, if the conversions are normal and healthy. 

•          Keep a tab on FIR or Complaint in her police station via network. 

•         It is better to visit police station and get comfortable with atmosphere, when there is no complaint than get panicked in the name of visit police station when real complaint done.

•          No Anticipatory Bail in UP, Uttaranchal, so prepare to get arrest stay form HC.

•          Avoid showing that without her you can’t live and dying every day. If she can live a life without you, why can’t you?

•          Never use any provocative words from your sides. It is like putting ghee in fire.

•          Minimum 2 to 3 years do not file any RCR or Divorce from your side.

•          Prepare yourself and start collecting evidence by which you can file any criminal cases on them, depends on your evidence and witness you collect.

•          Make ready Criminal Lawyers to get AB/Bail if any FIR is filed.

•          Accept your life is not like any of your other friend who is still under marital slavery.

In every family disputes it’s 90% mental battle and only 10% legal battle.  

But maximum time people will advice you find solution via legal route, like file divorce or file RCR which lead to high Stress /Tension in your life as in legal battle , your uncertainty will get increased by multi fold , as we term our Judges “My Lord”.

Husband Suicide : Unable to bear abuse by Wife

You can hire highly paid advocates but that’s’ give only your 10% battle remedy. Will help you to prepare a perceived Strong allegations (without any evidence or witness) as Cut, copy paste from others petition and in court, Judge understand in 2 seconds the entire cut/copy/paste lie. Your one lie will nullify her 10 lie as our Judges are also in Misandric mindset, women never lie or women never cheat.

 So, neither your problem gets solved nor you able to cope up the mental battle. You start changing advocates, get distressed and one day make statements: “I had been harassed more by advocates than my wife.”

So, we advice, never seek or beg or run behind Divorce, seek Justice. Divorce should be part of Justice, which should come by default as your right, not by parrying in front of Lord.

Will love to here , what option you will prefer , Join SIF Network to be happy or end your life .

When Men became Victim of Domestic Violence