Why Lacks of Separated Fathers deprived from #HugYourDad on the eve of #FathersDay ?

Vicks VapoRub #HugYourDad - YouTube

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“This father’s day, I am expressing my love towards my dad by participating in the #HugYourDad activity at BlogAdda in association with Vicks.”

Last one week we were very happy to see so many corporate brands today recognize the Value of #Fathersday and came out with multiple awareness activity. 

When I write 21st June: Sunday #Fathersday: What you planned? Subsequently witness  many activity like with message like , #SelfiwithFather , #PapaHaiNa , #Luv2Dad , #LoveforDad , #HugYourDad and the list is never ending in social media.

But when I receive a mail from a father: To my kiddo, with love! , who is separated from his kid, how he feel, have ever we try to understand?

Dear Kiddo,

Lots of love and wishes.

I always write my diary with a hope that one day when you grow up, you will read this and understand that how much your father loves you.

Father's day is around the corner and I am looking forward to meet you on that day; hopefully. I say hopefully because there are many people around me who really do not like my meeting with you, especially your mamma. But a day will come, for sure when you will be with me, forever.

You know kiddo; I was always excited about you. It started with the day when mamma told me that she has conceived you. My happiness knew no bounds on hearing the news and I was jumping in excitement. I took your mamma in my arms and told her that she was about to give me the best gift of my life.

The next nine months made me a different man. Day and night, I thought about you. I became less carefree and more caring. I took extra care of mamma so that she did not get uncomfortable. I took responsibility of the house and started doing small household chores as well. It was a pressure situation for me to manage my office work along with household work. But I wanted your mamma and you to be in best of your health. I wanted that nothing should affect you whatsoever. All for you, dear. I was so excited, so happy.

I told your mamma that I shall be your best buddy for life. I shall be there always for you, in sunshine and in grey.

One fine day, I told your mamma about all the financial planning I am going to do for you so that your future is secured; so that you get a good education; so that you enjoy all the goodies of life. I want you to feel proud for your father. I never knew your mamma had planned a different type of financial planning.

Months passed by and finally the day came when you were about to come to earth. I was nervous, pensive and all emotional till you came. The moment your umbilical cord was cut and I heard that you came on earth, my eyes were flooded.  Flooded with tears of happiness.  You made my world complete. People say parenting is a tough job and I indeed felt so but looking at you took away all the pains for me. I enjoyed my sleepless nights, changing your nappies, singing Lorries for you so that you sleep.

I was so excited with each passing day of your growing up and I made sure that I captured each and every moment through my lens. I felt as if I am the luckiest person on the earth. I live by and cherish those memories now as you are not around me.

I always wished to carry you on my back, throw you in the air and catch you back, be the horse for you to ride, teach you how to ride a bicycle and what not. But probably, I never knew that a situation would come in my life when you would be snatched away from me.

It was seemingly all going great until that fateful day. Mamma had a fight with me and she was upset. I went to office thinking everything shall be fine by evening. When I came back, you and your mamma were not at home. I was shocked and surprised. You both had gone to your maternal grandparent’s house and your mamma told me to be back in couple of days. I never ever thought what she would do two days later. She complained to police that I torture her and don't take care of you. I was called to the police station and IPC498A was imposed on me; by the person who was my world; by the person whom I gave my everything. Your mamma made me a criminal in a moment without giving a second thought. My world was shattered.

Mamma took you away to Nani's house. From that day, you are there. I miss you a lot kiddo. Life is incomplete without you. I have a hidden fear that you might forget my identity. Mamma and Nani feed you with all sorts of imaginary negative things about me. I just pray to God that you do not grow up hating me. I am not like that kiddo. I hope one day you will understand.

You know kiddo your papa was down but not out. Your papa had not lost courage and hope. Your papa had decided: to fight; fight for you, fight for justice. A day will come when I will bring you to my world, indeed. And then, every day shall be father's day.

With lot of Love.

Papa

This not a simple mail, it expose how our Society and Law makers are victim of Misendric – Male Hatered Mindset , the pain and suffering of a separated Father from their Kid ignored so easily and their cry never reach to deaf ears of our LAW makers. 

But NGO like SaveFamily Foundation take the imitative and Plan to make a massive awareness Campaign on 21^st June, 2015 in the Heart of Delhi i.e. CP from 4PM onwards.

We know such separated Fathers of India does not get any hearing, but hope the effort of SFF self Supported Volunteers,  will able to reduce some of their pain on the Eve of #Fathers day who are deprived from the #HugYourDad.

 

21st June: Sunday #Fathersday: What you planned?

Many of us blessed to have our wonder full father in our life; so on the eve of father day, they really deserve a big Hug from us.

But men like Rahall, a 35 years old IBM engineer, will be in night mare. In spite of having a court order by which he allowed to visit his only son , his ex-wife had made all effort to deny the same in last 4 visiting date. This time also he will be denied to meet his son and in spite making all effort , but not sure that he can meet the child on the eve of #Fathersday . 

3 times he brings the fact to court, but in return he only gets date after date. The judge failed to understand it is the Child right to have access to meet his fathers, than it is a father or mother right.

It’s not Rahall along, lacks of Indian men’s fate will be like that, if you don’t believe go to any court, father are seeking the visiting or custody of Child, had been denied right way, asked to pay huge money as maintenance , but in return they even not allowed to meet their own child for a mere 2 or 3 hours in weekend  forget about giving the Child custody.

When we go through the Suicide note of various News of Men in India, found more than 70% cases the main reason they had been deprived to meet their own Child and unable to bear the pain lead to depression and suicide.

In last 2 years we had tried to bring the same burning issue to at least more than 240+ MP along with ministers like #SushmaSharaj, #MenkaGandhi , #NarendraModi , # RajNathSingh take some few names , but all gone in deaf years.

But there are some NGO like Savefamily Foundation, does not stop their effort to bring some smile to many men in India via their Free Self Supported, Self Volunteered, Help Line SIF-One: #Call08882498498.

NGOs to rally for gender-neutral laws on June 20 | Business ...

Non-Governmental Organisations fighting for "gender-neutral" family laws will hold country-wide rallies on June 20, activists said on Sunday.

They are seeking implementation of the Law Commission's report on providing joint custody of child/children in cases of matrimonial discord/breakdown.

"On June 20, a day before the Father's Day, we will hold a nationwide rally to demand shared parenting to be made mandatory in accordance with a draft Law Commission recommendation of May 2015," Kumar V. Jahgirdar, president of Bengaluru-based Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), told IANS on phone.

"The government of India ought to take steps to move a bill - as per Law Commission draft - in the coming session of parliament, with necessary amendments in guardianship and custody laws," he added.

Swarup Sarkar, founder of Delhi chapter of Save Family Foundation NGO, said suicide by married men owing to matrimonial disputes in India were on the rise.

"We keep getting cases of men not able to get access to their biological kids. During counseling, we find that many such persons harbour suicidal tendencies because nobody is bothered to even listen to their problems. We demand a separate commission for men in line with the panel for women in India," he said.

"The government has to consider Law Commission findings in view of changes in Indian society. If a woman can multitask, there is no reason why a married man can't perform domestic chores, including raising children," Jahgirdar added.

The Law Commission's draft law submitted to the government on May 22 proposed amendments to existing guardianship and custody laws. The draft provides for consideration of welfare of children as paramount while deciding custody issues.

"There is disparity in importance given to principle of welfare of children by different legislations regulating custody and guardianship," Law Commission chairman Justice A.P. Shah said.

"As a result, in fiercely fought custody battles, there are no ways to ensure that the interests of the child are actually protected," he said.

The draft law proposed children should have access to grandparents.

Sudha Rajashekar, who heads the grandparents' wing of CRISP, said grandparents often were victims of their children's matrimonial discords.

"There is no law in our country that protects our rights as grandparents in case of matrimonial disputes of our children," she said.

She advocated a law on the lines of those pertaning to inheritance and succession to ensure old people's right to have access to their grandchildren in case of marital discords and breakdown of marriages.

So, we appeal to all, plan some awareness activity in your area, write memo to Government authority, use social platform, and write blog, share twitter to remind all:

“It's not father or mother right, it is Child Right to meet or have access of their Father on the eve of #Fathersday. Don’t deprive Your Child Right.”

#StopChildLabour : Poor boys are not #RejectedMaal

On the eve of Stop Child Labour day, many high profile people making their views and concern, but have you ever try to understand why the same not vanished? 

The main reason we believe poor boys are #RejectedMal of our Country , witness even from a well educated women Chief Minister's Statement as witness.

Boys are 'rejected maal': Anandiben Patel, Gujarat CM ...

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All most all analysis proved the main reason of Child Labour is poverty. So , the Government must work towards remove the poverty right ?

But look all policy and data, you will find the Job opportunity of Men is decreasing and Women are increasing. Thanks to our great Feminist Ideology and creating more and more broken home, promoting and incentivized Divorce more than stay as married for women. Result more and more #FatherLessChild In society, as the assumption that a women can take care the Child much better than a men, so in 98% cases the Child Custody had been given to mother by ignoring the merit of the cases also.

But when comes to Child Labour what data says?

Child Poverty of Married Couple Family: 8 to 10%.

Child Poverty in Female headed Family: 39 to 47%.

(Study by USA, In India no NGO dare to make any such study).

A basis common sense say , we must form policy and Law which encourage or incentivized for married Women than incentivized the divorced Women in the name of maintenance or alomoney. Because such money never used for real well fare of Child.

Next the most concern by Child activist , Child working is not the problem, the problem is they don’t go to School , they work in hazardous situation , they are subject to abuse and one day even became rapist or a hardcore criminal. None will disagree but what data and various study say?

1.   71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)

2.    More boys (38.7 million) than girls (8.8 million) are involved in hazardous work.

To score some brownie points , our Government and NGOs are working by ignoring the important statistics like Drop out from High School of Boys is increasing year by years.

Now tell me one scheme or policy by WCD, which aims to address the problem of High drop out of Boys from School and work as Child Labour?

Last 10 years we are continuously demand the present Women and Child Ministry to be separated. As we had witnessed the policy and Laws created by such ministry is anti-Child. In the name of Protection of Women they always neglected the need and care of Child. 

Many might have forgotten even our Ms. Anandi Behan, CM of Gujarat in a social function termed the poor Boys as #RejectedMall and non had shown any outrage.

At the end we appreciate our Prime Minister focus on #BetiPawda campaign, but give a small attention to poor Boys of this country, don’t treat them as #RejectedMall.

No child born as rapist or murder, it is you and I make them rapist and Murder, so instead of making assumption based policy, time to rethink and review all policy related to the Problem of Indian Boys faced today than ignoring them.  

Boys are 'rejected maal': Anandiben Patel ... - YouTube

 

Wake up , instead of treating Poor Boys of India as #RejectedMaal , understand their Problem and review our all Law and Policy on the eve of Stop Child Labour Day and act based on data than some vested interest of WCD or any Vote bank Political Ideology.

#StopElderAbuse: What if I am tortured ?

"If a woman is tortured, the first thing police do is arrest her in-laws, even though they are elderly.

What if I am tortured by my daughter-in-law? All 498A (a section that deals with physical and mental torture of women) does is put people like us behind bars, it will never put my daughter-in-law behind bars. Police should look into this discrepancy and if need be change the law, for I am ending my life unable to bear the torture meted out to me by my daughter-in-law."

"This suicide note was on Thursday from an Alipore (Kolkata, India) house where 64 year-old Ranjit Chakraborty hanged himself to death from his bathroom shower.

Chakraborty, a retired employee of a multi-national company, worked hard till the day he died. Police conducted a preliminary enquiry and close the case as “Family Disputes”.

Even a 88years old women, former  Freedom fighter  also not spared by her Daughter-in-Law , but no media like Times Now or NDTV or CNN IBN , feel the same worth for a debate as the crime done by some women .

Elder Abuse : 88 Yrs Old women dumped by Daughter-in-law

As a SIF Volunteer we witness every day the cry of Elderly parents, how their Daughter-in-Law abuse them day/night, just to get rid of them or capture their hard earned home in their own Name.

Recently witness a Case in Supreme court , 72 years old Mr. Mishra vs his advocate Daughter-in-Law, who  forcefully entered in their Father-in- law home , capture two rooms and next day filed a molestation case , Domestic Violence case in spite the Father-in-law have court injection order , she should not enter in their home. She is asking Mr. Mishra should be out of home in spite the Home build by his own hard earned saving of more than 20 years.

The women used to stay after marriage in Kanpur for about 7 years, when she had disputes with her husband and Divorce case filed, she Filed 498A in Lucknow , Domestic Violence case in Delhi and now demanding the only home of Mr. Mishra to give in  her name.

After 3-long years fight and spend lacks of rupees at last in last week SC ordered to vacate her the premises , but the suffering and losses gone through Mr. Mishra , no one is going to compensate or any punishment to the women who done every day Domestic Violence on him.

Even the SC Judge was surprised a Women used to stay in Kanpur, filed 498A in Lucknow , DV in Delhi , enter in Father-in-law home by force in spite of court injection order and openly asking to remove her FIL from the property in the name of Molestation case.

The biggest problem of India, the Elders are subject to Domestic Violence every day in their own home in the form of Verbal abuse, Physical  Abuse , Mental Abuse and economical abuse, but our law makers failed to address the same as problem .

We have even witness article/study like, but such news does not make any National debate in Prime channel, but long hours spend why X used word like Y or why Y does not come to party of X.

Daughters-in-law abuse elderly more, says HelpAge India ...

44% elder abused by Daughter –in-law and 32% by daughter, both together it comes 76%. Where as elder abuse by son comes 24%.

Now look at Our Domestic Violence law, when a Elder Person face the problem of Domestic Violence by Daughter-in-law or by Daughter, they can’t seek any relief, where as if they face any Problem from Son, they can seek the relief under LAW.

So, a Problem Elder Abuse never find any solution, as 76% Elder abusers go Scot free in our Legal System.

Now the Question is who is going to tell this to our LAW makers and ask them to correct the Domestic Violence LAW and replace the word Men/women to Person , so that irrespective of their gender who ever done Domestic Violence can be booked and Punished ?

So , as a Volunteer , when ever I get Question from any Elder Men of India : "What if I am tortured by my daughter-in-law" - A Unanswered Question by Government result my reply :

1. Immediately Reverse Mortgage Your property/Assets.
2. Move to near By Old Age home , as I don't want to see another Suicide Note from age old person.

90% cases I got crying reply , sir , we have treated our Daughter-in-law as like our Daughter , why she is doing like this with us ?


They completely unaware , today Elder Abuse done by 76% by daughter or Daughter-in-law in India and 24% only by Sons. 

 

 

#CrimeByWomen : Elderly woman beggar, owner of 4 flats in Mumbai, murdered by daughter-in-law for propertyhttps://t.co/XWFr6MNTmS#ParineetiChopra @ParineetiChopra type women happily keep mum, no outrage tweet comes.
Be #Misandry FREE @NCWIndia stop protecting #CriminalWomen pic.twitter.com/0Xd2gVT8qc

— SwarupSarkar (@swarup1972) July 17, 2020

Further this is from WHO report: https://t.co/whHmYAfjVQ
Be Misandry Free & Visit any #OldageHome and come back with example where any Unmarried Son's parents are there vs married son's parent , which is the question in my above tweet. Would love to be proved wrong. pic.twitter.com/xjAqIzXke8

— SwarupSarkar (@swarup1972) March 7, 2022

Fact of the study: Two question was asked: Who is responsible they think & who is really abused them.
Who is responsible data-published, but who actually abused -not published why?https://t.co/JzOWobpzZC
Out of 5000+ why only 1250 person data recorded?
Pure cooked up data. pic.twitter.com/2h4hwMQPGS

— SwarupSarkar (@swarup1972) March 7, 2022

Yes that's #YellowJournalism & Cooked up study.
Read this News too:https://t.co/SfB8JXxL2I
2nd If son Abuse as per #DVAct they can be punished, but if DIL abuse, she can't be punished. Do U know that?
3rd-Pls check those son's are married or unmarried? Visit some #OldageHome.

— SwarupSarkar (@swarup1972) March 7, 2022